Lets start at the beginning
What is DBT? A Parent’s Guide to the Therapy Your Teen is Learning
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is a skills-based therapy designed to help people who struggle with intense emotions, impulsive behaviours, relationship difficulties, and a feeling of being out of control.
Originally developed by psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan, DBT was created to treat individuals with chronic emotional dysregulation—but its benefits have since been widely recognized for teens, families, and anyone navigating strong feelings and challenging relationships.
What Does “Dialectical” Mean?
“Dialectical” means holding two seemingly opposite truths at the same time—like:
“My teen is doing the best they can,” and “They can learn to do better.”
“I want to support them,” and “I need to set boundaries.”
DBT helps both teens and parents balance acceptance and change. That means accepting where you are right now, while also working toward something healthier and more effective.
What Makes DBT Unique?
Unlike traditional talk therapy, DBT is structured and skills-based. It teaches practical tools your teen can use in everyday situations:
To manage strong emotions without melting down
To cope with distress without turning to harmful behaviours
To communicate without escalating conflict
To become more aware of their thoughts and actions
These aren’t just “good ideas”—they’re concrete skills that are taught, practiced, and applied over time.
The Four Core DBT Skills Your Teen Is Learning
Mindfulness
Learning to stay present and aware in the moment without judgment.
Helps teens pause instead of reacting automatically.Emotion Regulation
Understanding and managing emotions, rather than being controlled by them.
Helps reduce emotional overwhelm and impulsive decisions.Distress Tolerance
Tools for surviving painful emotions and situations without making things worse.
Encourages riding out the storm rather than escaping it.Interpersonal Effectiveness
Communicating clearly and assertively, setting boundaries, and building healthy relationships.
Why It Matters for Parents
When your teen is learning new ways to manage emotions, your support can make a huge difference.
But you might also feel confused, frustrated, or unsure about how to help—especially if your teen reacts with defensiveness, shutdown, or anger.
That’s where this course comes in:
To help you understand what your teen is learning, and how you can support them in a way that’s validating, provides strong boundaries, and effective.
DBT is about progress, not perfection.
Your teen won’t master every skill right away—and neither will you. But step by step, you’ll both learn how to respond more skillfully, handle tough moments more calmly, and build a more connected relationship.
Welcome to The Parent Companion. I’m so glad you’re here.
“What if my teen refuses therapy? How can I still help them?”
It can be incredibly painful to watch your child struggle—and even more painful when they refuse the help that’s being offered. Many parents feel stuck, frustrated, or afraid when their teen says “I’m not going,” or refuses to engage in DBT.
You are not alone—and you are not powerless.
Even if your teen isn’t willing to attend therapy right now, you can still make a difference. Here’s how:
1. Learn the Skills Yourself
By learning DBT skills through this course, you can start modeling:
Mindful communication
Emotional regulation
Validation
Boundary-setting
Wise Mind decision-making
Your teen doesn’t need to know they’re learning DBT—they’ll simply see a calmer, more present, more intentional parent.
Remember: change often starts with us, not with them.
2. Use Validation (Even When It’s Hard)
One of the most powerful things you can do is validate their emotional experience—even if you don’t agree with their choices.
Try phrases like:
“I can see this is really hard for you.”
“It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
“You don’t have to talk about it now, but I’m here if you change your mind.”
Validation builds connection. Connection opens doors.
3. Focus on your Relationship, Not Persuasion
If your teen senses that every conversation is trying to steer them into therapy, they may resist even more.
Instead, focus on strengthening your relationship:
Spend time together doing something low-key
Listen more than you speak- ask, “do you want me to listen or help you fix this?”
Share space, not solutions
Your consistent presence builds the safety they may one day need to say “yes” to help.
4. Respect Autonomy While Holding Boundaries
You can’t force your teen into therapy—but you can maintain healthy boundaries at home.
For example: “You don’t have to go to therapy, but we do expect respectful communication at home.”
This balances freedom with responsibility—a core DBT value.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Supporting a resistant teen is exhausting. You are allowed to feel discouraged, worried, or even angry. You also deserve support, whether through your own therapy, a support group, or courses like this.
The more regulated you are, the more capacity you have to support your teen without burning out.
Final Thought
Even if your teen isn’t ready to participate in DBT, you can still create a DBT-informed home—a space where emotions are respected, boundaries are clear, and connection is always possible.
You are doing something brave by being here. And that matters.
Your Role as a Parent in DBT
You are not your teen’s therapist.
And you shouldn’t try to be.
Your teen needs a safe, consistent space to develop skills with their DBT therapist—but your role at home is just as important. You are the one helping your teen apply these skills in real life, in real time.
What You Are as a DBT Parent:
A calm, validating presence
A model for emotional regulation
A support in applying skills during difficult moments
A boundary-setter with compassion
A learner and partner in the process
You don’t need to have all the answers—you just need to show up with willingness and curiosity.
What You Are Not:
Their therapist or emotional fixer
The “DBT police”
The reason they’re struggling
Expected to get it right every time
Trying to "coach" your teen through every situation can backfire—leading to power struggles, resistance, or emotional shutdown. Your presence matters more than your performance.
The Realistic, Supportive Role You Can Play
Here’s what being a DBT-informed parent can look like in daily life:
1.Being Mindful
Pause before reacting.
Stay present.
Listen with your full attention.
2.Validating their experiences
Acknowledge your teen’s feelings without trying to fix them.
“I can see this is really hard for you.”
3.Emotion Regulation
Practice regulating your own emotions.
Model calm in the storm.
4.Distress Tolerance
Avoid escalating in crisis moments.
Support safety and skill use instead.
5.Wise Mind
Step back when needed.
Speak from values, not from fear or frustration.
6. Consistency Over Control
You can’t control how your teen feels or behaves—but you can control:
How you respond
The environment you create
Whether you show up with patience and skill
Every time you pause, validate, and model what they’re trying to learn—you’re reinforcing the work they’re doing in DBT.
A Final Reminder
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present, open, and willing to learn alongside your teen.
By investing in this course, you’re already showing them something powerful:
That change is possible. That support matters. That they’re not alone—and neither are you.
Click on the block below for a downloadable pdf for you to reflect on where you are right now.
