The SIMS Cookie Jar: A Gentle Tool for Chronic Pain Relief
If you live with chronic pain, you’ve probably noticed how pain isn’t just about your body. It’s about your whole experience—your thoughts, emotions, environment, and even your memories.
Pain neuroscience offers us a helpful way to think about this: SIMS and DIMS.
What Are SIMS and DIMS?
DIMS stands for “Danger In Me”. These are the things in our lives that increase our sense of threat or stress—and in turn, increase our experience of pain. DIMS might include poor sleep, high stress, isolation, or negative self-talk.
SIMS stands for “Safety In Me”. These are the things that help us feel safe, supported, and soothed. They reduce our sense of threat—and can reduce our experience of pain.
Examples of SIMS:
A warm shower or bath
Cuddling your pet
Sipping your favourite tea
The smell of baking bread
A heartfelt chat with a close friend
Gentle movement or stretching
Listening to calming music or nature sounds
Wrapping yourself in a soft blanket
Sitting in a sunbeam
Doing something creative, like drawing or knitting
Why Does This Matter?
Our brain is always scanning for signs of safety or danger. When we’re flooded with DIMS, pain can worsen. But when we actively increase the SIMS in our lives, we help calm the nervous system and lower our pain response.
This doesn’t mean pain disappears—but it means we can gently turn the volume down.
Introducing the SIMS Cookie Jar
A SIMS Cookie Jar is a simple, creative way to keep your safety cues close at hand.
Here’s how to make one:
Get a jar (or a box, or an envelope—anything that feels good to you).
Write down your SIMS—one per piece of paper.
Fill the jar with all the small things that help you feel safe, soothed, and cared for.
When you’re struggling—in a flare-up, feeling stuck, or overwhelmed—reach in and pull out one SIM. Then go do it.
It’s like a reset button for your nervous system, lovingly prepared by your past self.
A Note of Compassion
This isn’t about “fixing” your pain. It’s about gently shifting your relationship with it. The SIMS Cookie Jar is one way to add more softness, more calm, and more choice into your day.
Because even on the hardest days, you deserve moments of comfort.
Want to explore more pain-soothing tools like this?
Check out my online self-paced DBT course for chronic pain or join one of our upcoming live groups.
