Radical Acceptance and the Secret Power of the Mona Lisa Smile — Finding calm in the midst of chaos

When we talk about Radical Acceptance in DBT, it can sound like a big ask: Accepting reality as it is, not as we want it to be. Especially when life feels unfair or painful, this kind of acceptance can feel almost impossible.

But here’s the thing: Radical Acceptance isn’t just a mental decision—it’s something we practice with our bodies too. One of the most deceptively simple tools we teach is something called the half-smile.

A half-smile is exactly what it sounds like: not a full grin, not a forced “just get through it” smile, but a soft, subtle lift of the corners of the mouth. Think of the Mona Lisa. That mysterious, calm, knowing expression? That’s the one.

Why does this work? It has to do with how our bodies and brains are wired. When we’re stressed, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in—heart racing, shallow breathing, tight muscles. But when we soften our facial expression, even just slightly, we signal the brain to activate the parasympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for rest, calm, and safety.

In other words: your body can’t be in full fight-or-flight mode and fully relaxed at the same time. The half-smile helps tip the scale toward calm.

But here's the key: it has to be gentle and authentic. Not a fake-it-till-you-make-it grin. Not a teeth-clenched “I’m fine.” The half-smile is about allowing. Softening. Surrendering, just a little. It’s a physical expression of Radical Acceptance.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or resistant to what is, try this:

• Sit quietly for a moment.

• Take a slow breath.

• Let your face soften—and gently lift the corners of your mouth.

• Notice what shifts.

It won’t change your circumstances. But it might change how you meet them.

And that’s the quiet, powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—one Mona Lisa smile at a time.

By Dr Michelle Beukes-King