How Do You Know If You Need More Skills to Regulate Your Emotions?
We all experience strong emotions—it’s part of being human. But for some, emotions can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, or even out of control. If you’ve ever wondered whether you need more support or skills to manage how you feel, you’re not alone.
As a psychiatrist, I often meet people who blame themselves for being “too sensitive” or “too reactive.” The truth is, emotional regulation isn’t about being less emotional—it’s about learning the skills to respond to emotions in ways that are healthy, intentional, and effective.
Signs You Might Need More Support with Emotion Regulation
Here are some common signs that you might benefit from building your emotional regulation toolkit:
You feel like your emotions come out of nowhere and escalate quickly.
You struggle to calm down after getting upset—it takes hours or even days to feel stable again.
You often regret how you react when you’re angry, hurt, or overwhelmed.
You avoid your emotions or “numb out” with food, screens, substances, or sleep.
You’ve been told you’re “too much” or “overreacting” by people close to you.
You have difficulty naming or understanding what you feel.
You feel stuck in emotional cycles—repeating patterns that lead to distress or conflict.
None of these signs mean you’re broken. They simply mean you might benefit from learning how to better understand, manage, and work with your emotions.
Emotional Regulation Is a Skill—And Skills Can Be Learned
You weren’t born knowing how to ride a bike or drive a car—and emotional regulation is no different. Many of us didn’t learn these skills growing up, especially if we weren’t taught how to safely express feelings or manage stress. The good news is that it’s never too late to start.
In therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we teach practical, easy-to-use strategies to help you:
Identify and name your emotions
Understand what your emotions are trying to tell you
Choose responses that align with your values
Calm your body when emotions feel intense
Communicate your needs more clearly and calmly
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
If you see yourself in any of the signs above, I want you to know that support is available—and that learning emotional regulation is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
Whether you join a DBT skills group, see a therapist, or start exploring resources on your own, investing in these skills can change how you relate to yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
You deserve to feel in charge of your emotions—not ruled by them.
Written by Dr. Michelle Beukes-King, Psychiatrist
